Hi Varna… I know how u felt when I asked you out.. I shouldn’t have done that .. I almost became a stranger to you.. When you read this please remember the old days, the happy days we spent together.. Or else just left it unread.. because this is a love letter from me..
Subject :
Its been 4 years namma rendu perum pesa start panni.. ya the days after our IV trip. Enaku innum nyabagam iruku varna, after the trip, oru naal college mudinji we were standing in the bakery opp to our college. The conversation between us started with just 1 question… Ne enna pathu keta “Ena da color agitey pora ipolam nu” I just smiled and replied “Neenga agalam naanga lam aga kudatha nu”. Unaku nyabagam iruka illaya nu therila. From that day we started talking …Everyday after college you used to text me in facebook. And 1 day boys gang kuda I went to Tada .. where I almost drowned … On that night everyone called me and told me not to do like that ..romba kashtama iruku apd ipd nu lam sogama pesunanga… But you were the only one to scold me.. Haha innum siripu varuthu … Arivu illaya da unaku suthama.. apd ipd nu thitta arambichita enna.. Avlo thaan Varna … that second … you just made an impact in my life.. apdye vilunthavan thaan…innum elunthirikala… Athukaparam our story started.. I think you remember everything…illana just read my blog.. Ithula solla start panna marubadiyum additional sheet lam varum. Epdyum innum rendu sheet edukanum pola.. Neraya pesa vendiyathu iruku… Apdye santhoshama namma life poitrunthuchu …yaru vacha kanno therila.. we had many fights.. When you were busy with your first job, I just lost my mind, heart everything.. 24/7 un kuda pesitu sirichitu sanda potutu irunthutu.. thideernu a big space created between us.. I was not ready varna.. I was not matured.. I dont know why I am crying now.. Still not matured huh?.. Sorry.. enaku theriyum na alutha unaku pidikathu nu.. I should’ve let you be free la? you must be excited abt your first job and all, but kevalama edhayumey purinjikama, I had many fights with you.. As I said I was not ready and not matured..but both are not your mistakes, those were mine.. But you suffered a lot, for everything. I am sorry d.. After I got a job..in mumbai … epoluthum un nyabagamavey irukum.. becoz enaku vela kedachatha ketu ne romba santhosha paduva.. but I had ego issues too.. Unkita epomey pesa maten.. Neraya pesanumnu nenapen..un nyabagam varumbothellam I will start writing in the blog, it felt like I was talking to you.. I had so many flaws in me.. but its too late to realize my mistakes la.. you went too far.. I know varna… I have to live my life without you..I just lost hope in marriages too.. Hmm..un life alichathu pothum..i dont want to destroy another woman’s. I am not perfect and definitely not a father material. I have thought abt marriage too.. but romba kashtam… have to raise kids.. plan for future .. savings pannanum neraya.. I am definitely not that guy. Even in this kinda world.. see the drawbacks .. there is no guarantee there will be enough resources for future generations.. what if the climate changed drastically in 10 years , I am an adult I can manage.. what abt the next generation kids? But when I think of a marriage with you ..I just think of the happy days that I am gonna spend with you.. Its very sad.. that .. there will be no “Happily ever after” in our story. Unna nerla pathu pesi.. unkita sorry ketkanum nu nenachen .. ellathukum.. but u r not ready to meet me.. I totally understand that.. Just because I want to tell you something..you dont have to agree for everything.. I understand varna.. Ivlo naal kalichu enna thideernu ipdlam pesura nu kekriya.. Unkita ithellam sollamaley poiduvano nu bayama iruku.. I dont think I will get a chance ..intha letter ah nerla pathu kudukanum nu kuda yosichen.. but still the same thing striken my mind.. Just because I am ready for this.. that doesnt mean you have to.. athaan unna disturb panna vendamnu .. i am sending this as a mail.. Unna nerla pathu ..I have to apologise for everything.. thought of asking you for the last chance to set things right between us, nu lam kekanumnu irunthen.. You gave me only happiness Varna.. but in return you got lots of tears and shits from me.. I am extremely sorry for that .. Ethana peruku kedaikum sollu… a gorgeous girl like you with a wonderful heart. I just ruined everything.. Not lucky enough.. But still I will be jealous seeing another man in your life .. haha enna panrathu varna.. innum en manasula ne thaan iruka.. I cant help it.. unna marakanumnu I went for some dates too.. Unkita enaku iruntha comfortable.. friendliness.. affection.. love .. vera entha ponnukitayum vanthu tholaya matengithu.. enna panrathu.. but still i am searching for a girlfriend to spend my rest of the life with.. buddha madrilam I cant live without girls la.. I think I am wasting your time again.. romba pesuren la.. haha .. dont wry these are my last words.. I dont want to live with regrets varna.. What if I am alone on my age of 60 70.. and somebody asks atleast have u told her these things nu.. I dont want to die with that..varna.. Ipayum whenever I see the mirror I see ur initial on my forehead.. apram epd unna markarathu sollu.. God has given me this life only.. avara na mela poi vachikiren… pothum varna.. I like this love story ..la.. Ellam love storyum orey madri happy ending laye mudinja ..ellarukum bore adichidadhu… Let mine be a story with sad ending and a pure, true love.. You dont think abt me varna, u have a great life ahead.. kadaisiya oru thadava sollikiren.. I really love you.. I would love to spend a millisecond with you rather than a life time without you.. I love you so much d.. **tears again** Sorry..
Bye Varna… Live your life happily.. Get a guy worthy of you.. dont go for assholes like me.. Settle in life.. Go places…. Mail oda subject ah patha odaney delete panirupanu nenachen .. Thanks for reading.. and most importantly thanks for spending your time for me.. Good bye Varna… Now I will be at peace with no regrets… Thanks a lot…
With love,
Karthik
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